


Summer Break

by AntarcticBird



Series: Kind of a Thing [7]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 21:59:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4978132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntarcticBird/pseuds/AntarcticBird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe summer just isn't cuddle season. But Kurt doesn't think that's all it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Summer Break

It's just the beginning of the summer break and already they have an empty house for the afternoon. Kurt doesn't think it can actually get much better than this.

Blaine's parents are out for a few hours and won't be back until late and Kurt has a midnight curfew for once (Carole's been putting in a good word for him), which gives them quite a lot of time to themselves. 

They're still hoping to maybe get a chance to visit Cooper who's out in L.A. for a few days. Just for a week or so, a romantic little vacation for the two of them, exploring the city while Cooper has his auditions. But for now, they're in Blaine's big empty house, or the backyard, to be precise, cuddling in the shade of an apple tree with soft music playing from the open laptop that's sitting on the porch railing.

“This is nice,” Kurt sighs, throwing one leg over both of Blaine's, his body pressing in closer against his boyfriend's.

“Mmm.” Blaine hugs him tighter, places a kiss against his hair. “It's perfect.”

“It would be even nicer if they'd stay out all night, though,” Kurt laughs, and Blaine laughs with him.

“True.”

Kurt sighs happily and places a lingering kiss to Blaine's bare chest; he loves the feeling of Blaine's skin under his cheek, summer-warm and just a little hairy and so absolutely _perfect_. He loves the way Blaine tans in the sun; his own skin just freckles, but Blaine looks beautiful and healthy and too good to be true. He wants to lick him and bite him and kiss every inch of his wonderful skin. Instead, he slides down his body, rests his head on Blaine's soft belly, closes his eyes with a pleased little hum.

“I like it here,” he says.

Blaine is quiet for a moment, doesn't move under him before putting a hand softly in Kurt's hair. “I know I've gone a bit – soft. I'm sorry.”

“What? No, I really do like it,” Kurt protests. “My Blaine-pillow.”

“I've been meaning to work out more, but there was school and homework and all that and I just -”

“Shut up, you're perfect,” Kurt assures him lazily. “You know you always look beautiful.”

“I've been thinking about taking up boxing again.”

“I didn't know you used to box.” Kurt kisses the skin next to Blaine's navel, pats his side. “That's kind of hot.”

“I started when I was being bullied at my old school. I wanted to be able to defend myself, you know? In case – Well, it didn't matter in the end.”

“Maybe not, but I know what you mean.” Kurt lifts his head, props himself up on an elbow, his free hand still resting on Blaine's belly. “I get it. I dyed my hair and pierced my eyebrow and started wearing heavy boots and a scowl on my face. Different approach, same goal, isn't it?”

Blaine looks up at him, lifts a hand to brush a strand of pink hair from Kurt's forehead gently. “I guess, yeah.”

“Anyway, if you want to start again, you should,” Kurt says, smiles at Blaine. “Like I said, that's kind of hot.”

“You think so?”

Kurt grins. “I definitely think so. You'd look all kinds of sexy. You'd let me watch sometimes, right? God, you'd look _so hot_.”

Blaine smiles, a very small, very far-away smile, and Kurt leans down to kiss him. Blaine seems a little down, and they have an entire afternoon to themselves to do whatever they want. He's going to cheer him up again one way or another. It's probably just the reminder of his old school and the bullying there, Kurt thinks. He knows Blaine doesn't like talking about it. They usually try to avoid the topic.

Well. He's going to distract him until Blaine can smile again. That's what boyfriends are for, right? He knows a way or two to cheer up this boy he loves.

**

The next day Kurt has to help his dad out in the garage as he does every summer, but they have plans to meet up for dinner afterwards. And since his dad and Carole are going out on a date, and so is Finn, Kurt decides to just invite Blaine over after dinner. Empty house. Blaine will love that. All day he looks forward to telling him.

However, when he brings it up over dinner at Breadstix, Blaine pauses, seems to think about it, then shrugs a little. “I'm just really tired today,” he says, looking apologetic. “I don't know how much fun I would actually be.”

“We can just watch TV,” Kurt suggests, who had been hoping for some light groping at least if he's being quite honest, but as long as he gets to spend time with Blaine at all he's not going to be picky about what it is they do together.

“Are you sure?” Blaine asks. “I don't want to be boring.”

Kurt squeezes his hand and smiles, and why would it be a problem? Blaine is allowed to be tired, after all. It's not a big deal. He's kind of looking forward to just having a sleepy, adorable Blaine curled up into his side while they watch something mindless on TV. “You are never boring.”

Blaine smiles back shyly and lets Kurt lead him out to the car. They spend the evening cuddling and after two movies Kurt drives Blaine home despite his insistence that he can walk. If Blaine is as tired as he says, Kurt is going to be a good boyfriend and drop him off at his front door. Also, this means they get to make out in the car for another ten minutes before Blaine wishes him a good night and walks up the driveway while Kurt watches him appreciatively.

**

Kurt sleeps in the next day because he's only at the garage every other day and he doesn't have plans with Blaine until lunch. He wakes up to a text from him, reads it over sleepily.

_Hey, I'm sorry but I can't this afternoon, can we do tomorrow instead?_

Kurt frowns. It's very unlike Blaine to just cancel without giving an explanation or apologizing five hundred times.

_Everything okay? And yeah, tomorrow is fine_ , he texts back, but he is a little disappointed. They'd wanted to head back to Blaine's after lunch and hang out in the backyard and since both his parents are at work Kurt had been rather looking forward to some uninterrupted time with just the two of them and a picnic blanket. They've never made love under the open sky before and while Kurt would not describe himself as the outdoorsy type, that is something he wouldn't mind trying with Blaine.

He's showered and downstairs preparing himself some breakfast by the time Blaine responds.

_Everything's fine. And thank you! I just have stuff to do this afternoon. We can still just do lunch, if you want._

And, yeah, Kurt wants. It's better than nothing. He texts Blaine back and carries his cereal and coffee through into the living room to watch TV over breakfast. He's a little worried because being so evasive isn't like Blaine, but maybe he can make him talk to him over lunch. It's probably just the stress of the school year finally falling off of Blaine; he's been working so hard for weeks. He probably just really is exhausted.

**

Kurt asks Blaine to come over to his place for lunch so that they can get some quality boyfriend time in before Blaine has to rush off to his busy afternoon. It always feels so grown up, preparing meals together and sitting across from each other at the kitchen table, feet nudging against each other while they talk about their days.

Blaine kisses him hello eagerly enough by the door, and Kurt wraps him up tight in his arms and squeezes his eyes closed and kisses back as enthusiastically as he dares – he just loves kissing him so much. He could spend hours just kissing him, holding him, being held by him.

But then Blaine pulls back, smiles his usual sunny smile and heads for the kitchen where they make lunch together, talking and laughing and hips bumping occasionally where they stand next to each other at the counter, but that's as far as it goes.

Blaine seems … okay, and yet, somehow, Kurt can't quite shake the feeling that something is wrong. And not because any time he tries to get closer to him again, Blaine simply smiles and turns away and starts chatting about something else. It's something in Blaine's eyes. He's smiling, but it's like the light of it doesn't reach all the way up there today.

“I'm really sorry I have to cancel today,” Blaine says. “It's just that I really feel like after all that sitting the last few weeks I really need to be more active again and there's this yoga class at the gym that starts today and I didn't want to miss it -”

“You're doing yoga?” Kurt tries hard to keep his voice cheerful. “We could have done that together. I didn't know you wanted -”

“Uh, they were pretty much full already or I would have asked you, of course,” Blaine says quickly. “I just got the last open spot when I called.”

“Huh.” Kurt snatches a piece of cucumber off the chopping board to chew on. “Who would have thought that so many people in Lima wanted to do yoga.”

“Yeah, weird, isn't it?” Blaine says absent-mindedly and shrugs. “Can you pass me the olive oil?”

“Maybe we can do something else together,” Kurt suggests. “You know, the summer has only just begun...”

“Sure,” Blaine says, then launches right into a lengthy description of the documentary he watched over breakfast this morning before Kurt can say any more about it.

Kurt listens and nods along and it's just a small tugging sensation in the pit of his stomach: something is not right, and he just can't figure out what it is.

Blaine has to leave pretty much right after lunch and apparently he promised his mom to go see a movie tonight so they won't see each other for the rest of the day. Kurt accepts the peck on the lips Blaine offers and feels just a tad unsettled, and he doesn't know why.

**

The next day is Friday and Kurt has promised his dad to work a morning shift; according to their plans Blaine is supposed to pick him up from the garage around two in the afternoon so they can go to Kurt's and hang out and just cuddle up somewhere and enjoy their summer.

Blaine does show up, drives them over to Kurt's house, and doesn't resist as Kurt pushes him up against the front door as soon as it closes behind them.

Kurt kisses him hungrily and Blaine kisses back, and yes, this is a very good start to an afternoon together.

Until Kurt pulls back, smiles at Blaine in a way he hopes is seductive, and asks, “Any ideas what we should do with the rest of our day?”

And Blaine puts his hands on Kurt's chest and bites his red-kissed lip and says, “Can we maybe just watch a movie or something?”

“Oh,” Kurt says, and hurries to nod quickly because of course they can watch a movie, he just thought … Well, he must have just read the energy between them wrong when they walked in the door. “Sure we can. We – um. Are you sure you don't want to go outside instead? The weather is beautiful today -” And also being outside usually at least means shirts coming off and Kurt has a very attractive boyfriend, okay? He likes him shirtless.

“I – guess,” Blaine says, but he looks a little uncomfortable. “If you want to -”

“No, we can stay inside,” Kurt quickly assures him. Because he likes him shirtless, but he loves him always, and if all Blaine wants to do is watch a movie then they will just watch a movie. “That's okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Thank you,” Blaine says, and Kurt darts in for another kiss, soft and lingering, arms draped over Blaine's shoulders.

“I love you,” Kurt tells him as they pull apart.

Blaine presses his cheek against Kurt's shoulder and kisses the side of his neck and says, “I love you too.”

They watch two parts of _Back the the Future_ and they do cuddle, and it's a good afternoon, because every afternoon with Blaine is usually just perfect.

**

On Saturday, Blaine doesn't have time to meet up because he says he's going for a run with his dad and then he has an interview for a summer job at the library. 

Kurt goes out to meet up with Quinn and Puck instead who always want to hang out in the parking lot behind the Lima Bean and roll their eyes at strangers who give them weird looks. Quinn smokes and Puck brought beer and Kurt takes one bottle but refuses the cigarettes – he knows Blaine wouldn't approve and he knows Blaine is probably right. He wonders if he'd have taken up the habit if he didn't have Blaine. If it had just been him and Puck and Quinn for the rest of his high school career.

He doesn't know, but he's glad he has Blaine either way. He loves Puck and Quinn because he didn't really have any friends before them, and he kind of loves their little acts of rebellion like having one innocent bottle of beer behind a small town coffee shop. It's fun. But so is hanging out with Blaine. He's glad he can have both.

**

Sunday Blaine has an empty house for the afternoon when his parents are out visiting friends and Kurt goes over to spend his afternoon sitting on Blaine's back porch while Blaine does everything he can think of to keep himself busy – he keeps running inside to get them water and then iced tea and then the book he had been reading earlier so he can read a funny passage to Kurt, he braids a flower chain to drape over Kurt's hair and then jumps up again to get his laptop so they can have music outside. Music playing softly in the background, he puts bright pink nail polish on Kurt's toenails and lets Kurt do the same to him and then he's up again, busy at his laptop trying to find the hilarious YouTube video he saw earlier and wanted to show Kurt.

It's a fun afternoon. It's a _wonderful_ afternoon, in fact. Except for all the ways it's just really weird and kind of unsettling because through all of it Kurt can't shake the feeling that Blaine is avoiding him. He's avoiding coming too close to him. He kisses him, brief little pecks on the lips when he walks past him or hands him another cup of iced tea, but other than that he keeps his distance. No cuddling, no making out, nothing they couldn't do if their parents were around.

Kurt really doesn't want to be worried by this because it's all good, it's all perfect, they're just having fun together. Except … he knows Blaine. He loves Blaine, more than anything. And he can just … he can just tell, that there is something that is just not right. Something is off. And he can't figure it out.

It's not only that Blaine usually is even more addicted to cuddling than Kurt is and that the last time they didn't have sex for more then three days it was Blaine who started freaking out and worrying that something was wrong between them. But yeah. It's more than that. It's the way Blaine's smile is a little too bright and he's babbling away just a little too quickly, the way he keeps jumping up to get Kurt glasses of water in a way that just goes a little beyond normal politeness.

He has no idea what any of it means, and Blaine insists everything is fine. Apparently, he just doesn't want to cuddle right now. Which is no cause for concern. Is it? It should absolutely not be a big deal, right? It isn't a big deal. At all. It's just … summer. It's really warm. They can go back to cuddling and doing … _other things_ once it gets colder again.

They can do other things over the summer. There are plenty of things to do. Kurt thinks about it, thinks about it some more, he wants Blaine to have fun and they have so many options, and he's sure they can come up with a number of fun date ideas while the weather remains so sunny and hot. He was under the impression that Blaine loves summer, and maybe he does, maybe he just doesn't think summer is cuddle season.

“I was thinking,” Kurt says. “We could, um. Go swimming? Maybe? Tomorrow?” That's a normal fun thing to do in the summer, right? And they won't be too warm during it. He doesn't really like the sun on his bare skin because he'll be freckled beyond recognition within thirty seconds, but if this is something Blaine would want to do...

“Uh, I don't know, Kurt,” Blaine says, winces a little. “The public pool in Lima is a little disgusting, isn't it?”

That is certainly true. It is also true that Kurt has avoided going there since he was thirteen and a bunch of guys kept pushing him under water while calling him a fag until he almost drowned. But they wouldn't touch him now, would they? Not with his … reputation. Still, he is kind of relieved that he doesn't have to set foot in that place again. And he hadn't been thinking about that particular place anyway.

“We wouldn't have to go there,” he says. “You know how Puck cleans pools? Sometimes when he knows the owners are out for the day we all go for a swim.”

“I don't know if I'm … comfortable with that,” Blaine says, and blushes, and sometimes Kurt forgets that some of the things he does with his friends are probably weird to other people. Not to mention illegal.

“Quinn has a pool in her backyard,” Kurt says. “Her parents are crazy rich. Well, her mom. Her dad doesn't live there anymore. Which is better, I guess, because he didn't like us and now we can all go whenever we want to -”

“I just _don't want to go swimming_ , okay?” Blaine snaps, and Kurt closes his mouth, blinks, a little shocked. He has never heard Blaine use that tone of voice with him before.

“Okay,” he says. “I'm sorry.”

Blaine blushes and shakes his head quickly. “No, Kurt, _I'm_ sorry. I didn't mean to -”

“It's okay,” Kurt quickly says. “I didn't mean to -”

“Please,” Blaine says, and takes his hand. “can we just – we can go to the mall or see if we can drive out to Columbus for a day or something if you're tired of hanging out here all the time. I just don't like swimming.”

“I'm not tired of it,” Kurt promises, and squeezes Blaine's fingers a little. He doesn't know how to say, _I'm scared that you are, though, because I don't know what I'd do then_. “I was just trying to think of something nice for us to do together. We can do whatever you like.”

“But what would _you_ like to do?” Blaine asks, and meets his eyes almost hesitantly, just a hint of shyness in his gaze, and Kurt feels so, so lost.

“I just want to be with you,” he says.

Blaine smiles a small, sad smile and leans in to kiss him, and Kurt doesn't know why, but he feels like crying. He clings to Blaine through the kiss and doesn't know what he did wrong.

**

On Monday Kurt works and once he gets home Blaine has a family thing he can't get out of. On Tuesday Blaine cancels their date because he thinks he's coming down with something.

They fall into a pattern, after that, and Kurt has no idea how to break out of it, has no idea what even started it. Some afternoons they do meet up and Blaine is oddly distant and weirdly perky in this way that doesn't allow him to sit down for more than two minutes at a time. Or he cancels on him, because … one day he has to help his mom around the house. Another day he thinks he's pulled a muscle at the gym and needs some rest and no, he doesn't need Kurt to come over, thanks. There always seems to be something and it's always pretty last minute.

It's all starting to seem like nothing more than excuses. And slowly, slowly, Kurt can't silence the worry deep inside anymore. 

Is Blaine growing tired of him?

His summer, which had looked so promising, suddenly looks dull and sad. 

He meets up with Quinn and Puck occasionally but mostly stays home. He redyes his hair, which Blaine had been really excited about doing for him, but now he can't because he has to help his dad clean out the garden shed that day. He watches movies by himself. He picks up more shifts at the garage. Mostly, he's just … worried. And sad. Really, really sad. Because his boyfriend keeps making up excuses why he can't see him, and when they are together he barely touches him, is polite and always smiling but never more than that.

If Blaine breaks up with him, what is he going to do?

Quinn tries to get him to go to Scandals with her when she picks up on his sad mood, but he turns her down. What would he even want at a place like that now? He really has zero interest in hooking up with some random stranger and also he knows that if he did that, it would definitely be over between him and Blaine. There's no way he's going to risk that, apart from the fact that he's not even remotely interested in anyone else.

When Quinn points out to him that he doesn't have to hook up, that he could just enjoy the attention and maybe grind a bit on the dance floor, he still turns it down. He doesn't _want_ that. He only wants _Blaine_.

It probably makes sense, he tells himself, picking up his phone which is buzzing with a text over breakfast. He finds a text from Blaine asking him if it's okay if he comes over a little later since he totally forgot he promised his aunt to stop by to help with some garden work today.

Kurt sighs, texts him back that it's okay, and puts the phone down again, not hungry anymore.

It probably makes sense because Blaine is this smart, funny, kind-hearted, insanely beautiful guy who is just … the best and most interesting and most _amazing_ person Kurt has ever met. And Kurt is just this pale dude with the crazy-pink hair and piercings in his eyebrow and both ears who walks around with a scowl on his face and hangs out under the bleachers with people who regularly skip school and get in trouble for smoking and drinking beer on school grounds. Even if Kurt doesn't participate in the actual smoking, and never too much in the drinking, and usually not during school hours and not since he started dating Blaine anyway, because he'd probably kill him if he ever smelled alcohol on his breath, especially during the day. But anyway, he thinks. Maybe it was always just a matter of time.

“Everything okay, kiddo?” his dad asks, concerned, and Kurt lifts his head, smiles at him.

“Sure. Everything's fine.”

His dad doesn't look convinced, but lets it go for now.

**

Blaine comes over that afternoon and follows Kurt up to his room where he promptly sits down in the desk chair so there's no chance of them even touching accidentally. But Kurt isn't even surprised by that anymore. They are more than two weeks into their summer break, and that's pretty much also exactly how long it's been since they've last done anything more than kiss. They haven't spent any significant time alone in over a week. And even now, Kurt can already see Blaine getting restless.

“I was thinking,” Blaine says, and his smile is too bright. “Would you maybe like to go out for coffee? They have this new iced latte at the Lima Bean...”

Kurt hesitates, thinks, sits down at the edge of his bed as he looks at Blaine, who looks back at him with that same soft expression Kurt knows so well. He looks at him like nothing is wrong at all, sitting there all the way across the room from Kurt, as far away as he can be from him while still being in the same room, and Kurt decides that he can't do this anymore.

“I would actually rather stay in,” he says. “If that's okay.”

Blaine shrugs, takes a minute to answer. “No, yeah, sure. We can stay in. No problem. Of course. That's … cool. We can – do you want to watch a movie? Or, no, maybe we could – we could learn to make iced latte ourselves, I can look up a recipe on my phone -”

“Blaine,” Kurt says, and makes himself not look away from him as he asks, “Do you really want an iced latte or do you just not want to spend time with me?”

Blaine pauses, looks back at him, and something in his eyes shifts, changes. “Of course I want to spend time with you!”

“Are you sure?” Kurt asks, a little bitterly. “Because lately it hasn't really seemed that way.”

“What do you mean?” Blaine wants to know.

“Oh come on.” Kurt shakes his head at him. “You keep canceling on me. We haven't been intimate in like – two weeks. You always want to go out and hang out around other people like you're making sure we're never just on our own … What am I supposed to think?”

“Kurt,” Blaine whispers, shocked.

“Are you breaking up with me?” Kurt needs to know, voice only shaking a little. He's not going to cry.

“No!” Blaine jolts upright. “Kurt – _no_! No, never!”

“But -” he takes a deep breath. “Blaine, I just don't get it. What's going on?”

Blaine shrugs. “I – I've just been busy and -”

“You're not even really here when we _are_ together,” Kurt interrupts.

“Can't we just – I don't know.” Blaine sighs, eyes flickering away, waving a hand a little impatiently. “Can't we spend time together without everything always being just about sex?”

Kurt freezes. “Is that what you feel we've been doing before? Because -”

“No, okay, maybe not _all_ of it, but -”

“I don't believe this. When has this ever been just about sex between us?”

“I didn't say that.”

“You kind of did, though.”

“Well, it came out wrong, okay? I didn't mean it like that!”

“...And you keep canceling on me, my god Blaine of course we don't have to have sex every time we're together. We never _did_. That was never what it was like between us, do you – What? Are you afraid I'm going to force myself on you? I don't get why you -”

“Of course I don't think that,” Blaine hurries to assure him.

“You don't even want to cuddle with me anymore, you don't even want to _sit_ next to me, you treat me like I'm – like you're _disgusted_ by me or something and I don't -”

“No, Kurt, no,” Blaine cuts him off. “No, don't think that, please. I'm not – you're not -”

“Then _what_?” Kurt almost yells, close to tears now despite his best intentions of keeping it together. “What's the _problem_ , Blaine? Because we never have to have sex again if you don't want to. Not _ever_. If that's the problem then we can _stop_ , I promise, I _promise_ , just please stop _ignoring_ me, please, just tell me what's _wrong_ -”

“ _Maybe I am disgusted with myself_ ,” Blaine yells, and Kurt falls silent.

“...What?”

Blaine lowers his head, shrugs, and his voice is quiet, embarrassed when he speaks again. “I'm – I just – I haven't been feeling good about myself. Okay? I'm – I'm working on it, I'm going to the gym almost every day, I've taken up running, but – but it's hard, and it's taking so much time, and it still just looks the same -”

“Blaine -” Kurt swallows, and he just doesn't understand. “What? I don't – what do you mean? What looks the same?”

“It's all the sitting,” Blaine says. “I know that's my problem. And I'll be better about it. I won't let myself go this way again, but the end of the school year is just always -”

“No, stop,” Kurt says, holding up a hand, shaking his head in an attempt to clear his confusion. “Are you – you don't like the way you _look_?”

Blaine nods. “You said it yourself. I've gotten a bit – soft and pudgy around the middle section, and – and I -”

“Hold up.” Kurt blinks at him. “When did I say that?”

“Beginning of the summer,” Blaine reminds him. “We were outside, and you -”

“I didn't say that,” Kurt insists. “I never said that.”

“You were nice about it,” Blaine admits. “Very nice. But I could tell that it bothered you.”

Kurt thinks back very hard, tries to remember that exact conversation, but … he thinks he knows what day Blaine is speaking of, but he can't remember telling him anything hurtful like that. He hopes he didn't tell him anything hurtful like that. If he did, he certainly didn't mean to. “But it doesn't bother me,” he says. “It -”

“I mentioned that I was thinking about taking up boxing again and you were really into that idea,” Blaine provides helpfully.

And Kurt remembers, like a cold shock down his back, and stares at Blaine, eyes wide. “I was into that idea because the thought of you all sweaty and in tiny gym shorts sounded really good to me,” he says dumbly. “That's all I meant.”

“And the thought of me dropping a few pounds in the process?” Blaine prods.

Kurt shakes his head firmly. “Why? Why would I want that? You're already perfect.”

“I'm not.”

“You _are_ ,” Kurt insists, leans forward a little. “Oh my god. Is this why you haven't wanted to do anything involving taking our shirts off all summer?”

Blaine lifts his shoulders. “I'm sorry. I go running every day now -”

“You are _perfect_ ,” Kurt repeats. “Blaine – do you honestly think I _care_ how flat or round your stomach is? Is that what you think of me?”

Blaine lowers his head. “I just – I wanted to look better for you, I -”

Kurt can't hold back anymore, gets up, walks over, drops to his knees onto the carpet in front of Blaine to reach for his hands and squeeze them tightly in his own. “I _love_ you,” he says, desperately. “You are – Blaine, you are the most stunningly handsome person I have ever met. And I'm not just saying that. Please, just don't -”

“But you are so beautiful,” Blaine whispers, meets his eyes, and his own look as wet as Kurt knows his own are. “You're the one who's perfect, Kurt. And I'm just this short nerdy guy with the wild hair and insane eyebrows, I should never -”

“I'm a mess, Blaine,” Kurt says. “I – my hair and my face and – everything. My life. _Everything_. I'm still amazed every day that you even looked at me twice and I can't believe you thought I wouldn't find you attractive just because – because -”

“Because of the belly,” Blaine says.

“I _love_ the belly,” Kurt assures him, voice a little choked.

“I _don't_ ,” Blaine says. “It just won't ever really go away.”

“I don't care,” Kurt promises.

“I do,” Blaine replies quietly.

Kurt nods, draws in a deep breath, lifts Blaine's hands to press a firm kiss to his knuckles. “Then I'll go running with you,” he says. “I'll do whatever you need me to do. I promise. Anything. I'll do anything. I'll support you. Just as long as you can promise me that you're not doing it for me, because – where am I going to put my head when we watch TV once you have rock-hard abs?”

Blaine squeaks out a little laugh, a single tear finally rolling down his cheek. “I don't know, Kurt. On a pillow?”

“That's not the same,” Kurt points out sadly.

And Blaine smiles, just a small, tentative little smile, but it actually reaches his eyes this time. “Are you saying you won't love me anymore if I have abs?”

Kurt rolls his eyes at him. “Yes, Blaine. That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm only dating you because of the belly. Clearly, you won't even be the same person anymore if you lose it.”

Blaine grins. “That might not even happen, despite my best intentions. I've never been able to get rid of it completely in the past no matter what I did.”

Kurt leans up to capture his lips in a long, soft kiss and squeezes his burning eyes shut. “I'm sorry you've been going through this,” he says. “I'm so sorry if I ever made you feel like that, Blaine.”

Blaine shakes his head. “It's not really anything you did.” He sighs. “It's always kind of bothered me. That's not your fault.”

“I didn't know you felt that way about yourself.” Kurt nudges their noses together softly. “I really just – had no idea.”

“It really doesn't bother you?”

“The thought has never even crossed my mind.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Blaine admits.

Kurt slides his arms around his shoulders, knocks their foreheads together. “I'm sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

“I thought you were getting ready to dump me,” he whispers.

“ _Never_ ,” Blaine says fiercely. “Kurt, I love you. I'm sorry I've been acting weird.”

“I'm sorry you felt you had to,” Kurt says. “I never want you to be insecure around me.”

“It just happens,” Blaine says.

Kurt nods. “I know. To me too.”

“Really? But you're _perfect_.” Kurt pulls back a little, raises one eyebrow at Blaine, who pauses, then chuckles. “Oh. Right. Okay.”

“Yeah,” Kurt says.

“Are we okay?” Blaine asks.

Kurt nods, kisses him again. “I love you _so much_ ,” he says. “More than anything, Blaine. You know that, right?”

Blaine cups Kurt's face in both hands and kisses him back.

They don't learn to make iced latte that afternoon, but they do cuddle. A lot. Their shirts stay on because it's been an emotional afternoon and Blaine is not ready, but they do make out the way they used to once they've both calmed down a little. And Kurt is so relieved he still feels like crying, but in a good way this time.

And when his hands slips under Blaine's shirt, Blaine hums into the kiss and slides his hands into Kurt's hair, and Kurt kisses him, and kisses him some more, and loves him so much he can feel the relief in his _bones_ – they're okay.

**

Blaine has an empty house the next afternoon and they make love on his bed until they're both too exhausted and sore to keep going.

Afterwards, limbs tangled and Kurt's cheek resting on Blaine's shoulder, Blaine's arms wrapped around him with one hand caressing the sweaty skin of his back, sheets rumpled underneath them, they just go right back to cuddling, sated and sleepy and so, so happy.

“You redyed your hair,” Blaine says, lifting one hand to tug at one sweaty strand hanging over Kurt's forehead.

Kurt nods, tilts his head up to kiss the skin on the underside of his jaw. “It was starting to look pale.”

“I'm sorry I didn't help,” Blaine says. “I know I promised. And I really wanted to.”

“No, don't even worry about it,” Kurt says. “It doesn't matter. For now, I think we have plenty of other things to do together.”

Blaine chuckles, kisses the top of his head. “Shirtless things?”

Kurt shrugs. “Well, it _is_ summer, after all.”

“I thought you didn't like summer.”

“It's better when you have a very hot boyfriend who looks amazing without a shirt on,” Kurt says, and smiles up at him.

Blaine smiles back and doesn't argue, even if Kurt knows he still doesn't really believe him. “I agree,” he says and slides down the bed a little, rolls them over to slide on top of Kurt and guide them into a kiss that feels a lot like oh hey maybe they have another round in them after all.

Kurt stretches out underneath him and kisses back and lets Blaine make him feel beautiful the way only Blaine can. He just hopes he can find a way to do the same for him one day.


End file.
